Learning how to surf, again, I mean REALLY learning how to surf reminds of a common thread that has run through me and my pursuits for my whole life. Fear blocking my way. It’s kind of like when I wanted to learn how to do a back handspring for pretty much my entire life until I was finally too old and stiff to keep that dream alive anymore. What got in the way of me finally reaching that goal? FEAR. I just could not get past that little voice in my head that told me if I jumped backward blindly I would eat shit and die. Or at least break my neck and someone would have to clean my shit. And then I would die. That same voice is still here telling me I can’t do things that I really want to do. Like surfing. When it comes to that moment where I must paddle and post up on my board for the big, blind, drop-in, the voice is there telling me not to do it. The voice needs to see. The voice needs to know that I WILL make it. It won’t accept that failing is ok too. So tonight’s goal for me during my session was to Eat Shit. Not to catch a wave, but to eat shit on one. On a big one. So that I could show that voice that I will be ok. And I did. I paddled for a medium one and I ate shit. Tomorrow I am going to eat shit on an even bigger wave until I am so comfortable wiping out that it won’t be that big of a deal to drop in.

Magic 231/365, Surf Lessons, Playa Guiones, August 2018